The End of Everything

Everyday without change the worst moment is the morning when I have to get up from bed and the best moment is when in night I go to sleep, sounds strange but not for me but why ? What happens in between, I thought for the reason and got that I actually live truly when I am asleep, and in the morning, I used to realize that this is the world of Performance, I have to perform beside everyone sometimes as a friend, a student, a son, a brother, a candidate, a citizen or a professional. Beside every face there is a Judge, for every act there  is Judgement, for every judgement there are opinions, for every opinion there are views, for every view there are likes or dislikes, and  people feel proud for their likes or dislikes.

Where for every thought there are processes,  people learn process and they call it research,those who knows maximum numbers of process are also rewarded and respected, for every truth there has to be proofs, for every desire there is limitation, for every word there are synonyms and sometimes the synonyms has more importance than truth, where with feelings comes possessiveness, with possessiveness comes desire to control that is attempt to seize your freedom, with desires comes selfishness and selfishness is suggested as essential ingredient for survival. 

 Where for love there are standards to achieve there is investigation for being trusted and you shall be believed when you will pass the exam, there are Ideals for every action, where achievements are more important than innocence, where those who are considered successful are given the licence to suggest everyone, where if you are not trying to impress others you are declared antisocial, there are never ending tracks where you will be forced to run as fast as possible, where people will suggest you don't do what you enjoy but do that which can impress and entertain, where artificial smile brought awards, where greatest puppets where adored as masters, where its not important how much you feel the more important is how you convince, where its not important what you see the more important is how you describe.

This is the End of Everything, everything that is meaningless but new, everything that is ordinary but beautiful, everything that is purposeless but interesting, everything that is directionless but brings endless satisfaction, everything that cannot be Judged, cannot be described, cannot be defined, cannot be confined, cannot be controlled, cannot be possessed, and cannot be taught.

                         ( From the pages of my diary written on 25th Feb 2012)

Sometimes for someoene

Sometimes my chosen Loneliness gets boring and I find it difficult to share it with anyone,
Sometimes I feel alone even when people are around and no help comes,
Sometimes people leave me even when I need them and I hope for someone who would come searching for me,
Sometimes I feel I am good for nothing and then I find for someone who would always love me irrespective of what I am and what I shall be,
Sometimes I feel awesome and start singing in the middle of the road,and I think for someone pure non-judgmental who could always appreciate even the worst of my performance,
Sometimes I feel why I always wait for someone and why that someone is not with me since I took birth,
Sometimes I doubt Will I be ever comfortable with that someone as much I am with wind or as much I am with my breath,
Then sometimes I think why we need to search for someone special,
Why we don't come in world with our someone and have a beautiful life of Togetherness,
Why we need to search for it, then separation, despair, frustration ,emptiness ? ? ?

The Discovery.

There is no I, there can never be I, it's only He who exist's. I am not what I appear, I am not a 'Self.' I am not what my Ego decides, I am a seeker, the almighty himself trying to describe through me.
I have always thought that I am a lost traveler but who has lost and where ? The travel itself is me, I am a journey whose shelter are the halts. I am the admirer of the beauty which constitutes the almighthy.
 My search for him keeps me so restless that now it seems that my dreams are the dilemma created by my conscious to keep me engaged on nights.
I am the drop of hope rolling continuously in dessert to meet the ocean.
I am a challenge to overcome the limitation of physical existence.
I am the End of the Bird's flight yet to be started.
I am the walk which never Ends,
I am the sleep always awake,
I am the Run which never complete,
I am the ever present Dance in the heart beats of each soul,
I am the unstoppable music from the breath of each creature,
I am once and I am ever,
I am one and I am all,
I shall never Begin because I was, I am and I shall be.
(From the pages of my dairy on 23rd Feb 2012, written at home in Gomoh)