But then there are these impressions that never leaves me and I am left with Emptiness, the blankness, I expected these impressions of unknown origin to fill the gap -the blank spaces, but they failed, how could they, those impressions are of past, their life is over, they have done with their role, now they have no soul, I need something of present with magical soul & energy of its own to fill this Gap.
This emptiness is so profound, it drives me to find it out and I look around, I concentrate on noises in my surrounding, I look inside, I try to remember, I think & think & think and no solution's are found, then I engage myself in activities of various kinds, or put myself moving -walking on busy streets, yet nothing seems to fill the blank spaces, they remain as it is, and I stop when I get tired of finding something to fill it.
But it wasn't as it is, once I had been in a company that came very close to filling these blank spaces, and just when it started getting filled-I started feeling wonderful, ecstatic and something incomprehensible happened, destiny changed its direction, and I was left with emptiness, the work remain incomplete, and now it hurt's more, it's painful, because I am in middle of nowhere, it seems now I can't fill this gap by my own, I need a company-rather magical company to get it filled, and I crave for that, a magical person and together we shall create magical moments then only this gap will start getting filled, I once had it and it was taken away, now everything is ordinary.
I am unable to create that magic by myself; I wish I could have, could I?
Is it possible?
I am not that kind of person who can create magic by himself, but I could be, however it would require transformation from inside to outside, that also don't seem to promise it, otherwise there wouldn't be concept of soul mates.
I am incomplete without my soul mate, whether or not I am noticing; my soul is always in search of the one.
Have you ever felt like it?
Or
I am the only one; no I can't be lonely on this journey.
People who made honest inquiry into their soul do feel the need.
Best of luck to myself!
(From the pages of my dairy, written on 17th July 2017, 7.45 pm)
