You were
closer to me, but not close because you never looked closely.
You were
always with me yet never getting to know me because you choose to assume than truly listening.
And you never
learned to interpret my silence.
You caused me to
state words that you desired to hear, and you never reached close to my truth.
I offered
words that you preferred to hear because I didn’t want to make you feel
uncomfortable with my truth.
You were
satisfied wandering with me in the circle and never bothered about the center.
You were
intrigued by me, but you never dared to ask the right question because you were
never equipped for the truth.
While I am
deep like the ocean, you looked happy playing
with the waves on the beach.
You minimized
my existence to the shore because you were frightened of the depth.
And I kept you
busy in your invented world of borrowed assumptions because I never wanted you
to discover my truth.
You talk about
worldly affairs, adjustments for better survival, money, your fascination with
power, the importance of maintaining status even if hollow from inside and
filled with engulfing moments of loneliness, popular people and their lives for
popularity, recent trends, newly updated gadgets making life easier and mind
more complicated, new arrivals at shops, your recent marketing of materials you
required, things, food, problems of the world, politics, war, current news, all
the subjects of the world, but never about me.
And then you
accuse me that I keep secret that I hide that I keep a private life.
Do you think
you are worthy enough of knowing me?
Knowing a person is a sacred path, requiring patience, non-indulgence on your
self-created scripts for others; it would require
you to drop your ego of knowing without being told and biases.
Do you think
you have ever been totally present in the present for listening?
I am not the
kind of person forcing my words on you, like those screaming in news channel
debates for attention.
Because I am
not looking for approval or acceptance from others, what I might tell you will
be sharing without any expectations.
But now I
don’t feel the need to say anymore.
(From the
pages of my diary, written on 19/03/2019,
11.00 a.m.)
