But still I find myself in a better situation because at least I am aware of what I had become and I feel more pathetic for those who overlook the situation and spend entire life being monkey jumping on the direction of ringmaster and worst are those who are able to appreciate this situation.
Everyday I enter office at 10 am, and I take my steps inside after reminding myself that I will be in Zoo for 8 hrs and after that in the evening I will be free, after that I shall live of my own and this is not my destiny this shall never be its temporary phase and very soon I shall make it reach to end. And when I take my steps out in the evening outside office and feel the fresh air on my body, I actually feel like coming out of jail after years, and then I become real me dropping a robotic personality of me inside and everyday I celebrate my freedom by rewarding myself with a beautiful song, so I sing song for myself on my way back to my room while driving, that is the best moment.
My present status reminds me of a famous quote " If you won't take steps to fulfill your dreams then someone else will hire you to fulfill theirs ". And I am happy to know that I am not someone who could be hired for lifetime because I have my own dreams and I know how to get there. But I feel sad for those who never realize importance of actualizing their own dream, making their own path and I feel worst for those who are happy being hired. Yes I am a hired employee for today but I know it won't be for long because everyday I do something for actualizing my dreams to reach one step closer and I certainly won't die as hired employee, the one who is compelled to do exactly what he is asked to do, the one who is trained to perform as per expectation, the one who is extracted like fruits for juice, the one who only cares for extrinsic rewards.
A man must not forget that he is not born to be hired for fulfilling others dreams, you have your own dreams and you certainly have them, if you aren't able to remember then that's because you must have forgotten them, find out it must be dormant somewhere, take time for introspection, if you would live to fulfill your dreams you would actually live otherwise you have wasted this birth, this life is a unique opportunity to create , to invent, to find something surprising, to explore unknown, to love someone, to reach somewhere,to express yourself to the fullest, to make world a better place, to give world a reason to smile and above all, to become yourself, truly yourself.
(From the pages of my Dairy 17th march 11.30 Am )