"When I First Saw You"

Then the lights were dim,

Then the music was slow,

Then the street was known,

Then the crowd was engaged,

Then the sun was about to leave and moon was peeping in,

Then the wind was getting cold,

When I first saw you,

And I got mesmerized, speechless, suddenly the time gets standstill,

And I could have focus nothing but you,

I could have saw nothing but you,

I felt as if nothing existed in the world except you and me,

And for a moment,

I forgot that the wind blows,

I forgot that people exist's,

I forgot that night goes out and sun comes in,

I forgot that I breath,

I forgot that from where I am coming and where I have to go,

And I could have hear nothing but your footsteps,

And I could have smell nothing but your presence,

And I could have felt nothing but your passing by my side,

And I was knowing that this has never happened before,

And I was knowing that this shall never happen again,

And then there was smile in my face,

And There was grace in my walk,

And for the first time I was knowing what I don't have,

And for the first time I was sure of what I want,

And then I wasn't knowing light,

Then I was unaware of music,

Then the street was unknown,

Then I was part of crowd,

Then there was no sun, no moon, no wind,

Because I got lost in you,

When the first time I saw you.

(From the pages of my dairy, written on 26th August 2013)

On the Day I left My Job

May be this is the best time that I am having now, May be I am going to miss this for my entire life but still there is no point in holding this, this must pass, I need to move on, to reach somewhere I haven't yet reached,   to meet few I don't yet know , may be everything after this is going to be worse and I would never be able to   come back to this and say let's restart, may be I am never going to be happy after this, but still I need to leave, its time, its over,its nobody's fault, its just has to be, I am saturated with this place,  I have had enough, now it can't be part of my present,  it has to be memory.
I am afraid for what's going to come next, it may be bad or worse than anything that has yet happened to me or may be I am just so afraid to stand for my freedom, or may be long conditioning as an obedient follower has made me so rigid against new. I have been in so much pressure to satisfy ego of those who willing try to seize my freedom either part of their nature or duty that I have forgotten the taste of freedom, perhaps I should have never started this. I should have never started allowing people to rule over me, I should have never started following but its never too late I can always start from beginning.  

You are Born to Stand out.

Any collective form of religion exist's only because of the individual fear of being in the wrong direction, you may call it lack of confidence, and the tendency to follow mass, the need to share . All the collective form of religions are only serving the purpose's of small minds. And that collective religion moving blindly towards nowhere whose only method is repetition and that too in a discipline manner which is harmful not only for the individual but also for the collective growth.
Yes one can argue that there are few good things and few bad things in all religion and it should be ignored then they must know that there should be no bad things about a religion, the one who has taken responsibility of guidance should be free from all possible and impossible error.

Only if the collective religion which could prove to contribute towards, empowerment of weak, minimizing hierarchy  reducing class, bringing unity in diversity, realization of the importance of freedom, making innovation can be honored for existing. But unfortunately they have rarely being part of the implementation of a collective religion. So far it has only being successful in amassing cadre of followers, and the followers producing more like them. I don't understand what has happened to man everywhere he either look for fast food or just jump on something that has already being prepared by someone else, why don't you take the effort to prepare it for yourself, if you don't use other's undergarments, used toothbrush, used towel, then why you share religion, its worth is infinite times more than these, hope you will not only understand but will put some effort.
We must understand that Too much faith on an established religion destroy's your ability to create because you became dependent on it for your idea's. For every mystery in the world you are given reasons and then you are told that you have to believe on them without doubt, without questioning, so ultimately it lames you, it blinds you. It has rules for everything where to go, where not to got, what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat, when not to eat, they command you like your boss and you listen to them, don;t you have your own brain or have you given it on rent. You must understand that nobody has right to decide for you, its like sabotaging your freedom.
A strong religion must say go and get free, enjoy, don't follow anything, don't repress, help, be sympathetic, have pity for poor and weak, be a rebellion if its for good, get educated, get good qualifications, be creative, be productive, contribute to your universe, save time especially don't waste them on repeating prayers, save money especially don't waste them on building homes for Gods, if they are God they don't need man made structures, if they would need they would make it for themselves.
And a weak religion needs followers to support, it can't stand of its own, so it don't let them free, it makes rules to bind them, because to run lifetime imprisonment, it needs lifetime servants.
It don't inspire you to create, to think beyond what is written, it says do as I say, so that you won't get to know that what you are doing is stupid. Its method is not interactive, its speech, one says other listen, it pretends to know everything, therefore it proves you that there is no importance of your opinion, you don't know anything actually they are afraid if you will ask they won't be able to answer, it trains you to respect the post, then it teaches you that all are equal.
So why then you are not able to leave these established, collective form of religions, who has so many fault's, because you are afraid of being separated  because you can't think new, because since childhood all you have done is to trying to fit in and you have forgotten that you are born to stand out.

The Hardest Thing.

Do you know,The hardest thing is to fall in love with someone for whom you are stranger and  you don't even have the right to talk , I go on finding a common link between us and sometimes I get irritated  because everyday I saw you but I can't just stop you and say hey! talk to me because I am your no-one and I even don't have single reason to do so,
We have been part of a journey and the hardest thing is to know that the journey is over and it won't be repeated and I am incapable to go back and make it happen again,
The hardest thing is to know that you are here, in the same town, very near to me, enjoying, engaged, but not with me, I can't even see you when I wanted to, I just know that you are somewhere very near to me and this is not enough,
Everything about you is so special, feel like capturing everything around you, nothing has been more precious than this, you are young, you are mysterious  and more than anything else you are awesome,your walk is splendid, your smile is gorgeous, wanted spend my entire life with you, I want nothing but you in my life, but I even don't know how to come close to you,  and the hardest thing is to know that I am not known to you,

I want to know everything about you and I want you to know me, and you know, The hardest thing is to stop thinking about you, because when I think about you it gives me feelings that I am coming closer to you, and when I close my eyes you are still there in my dreams and the hardest thing is not to dream of you,

I am dying without you, every-time I go out I only hope you to show-up from somewhere, I have never been with you still I can feel how it would be to be with you, as if the heaven will come true and I will be the happiest person alive, but I doubt are any of these going to happen,and you know, The hardest thing is to stop expecting you, The hardest thing is to stop hoping for you, the hardest thing is to know that there is possibility of Worst,

I have to hear your voice, I want to know how you sound, I have to know your name, I have never been this much mad for anyone before, Are you a magician, what have you done to me, you keep me restless for 24 hr and I am incapable of choosing not to be restless ,Sometimes it seems I am suffering with a dangerous diseases whose cure is only with you, please cure me, don't let me getting mad, don't let me die, because you know , the hardest thing is to forget you even for a second,The hardest thing is the truth that I can't even thought of leading my life without you, and the Hardest thing is to be conscious of what I am writing because even I wish to, I can't be insensitive of my words.

This isn't stagnation this is stay !

Life has stagnated earlier when I landed in this stagnation I hated myself for being in this position of hatred because I can always choose not to be here but later I realized that the only precious thing in this world is to be surrounded by true love and being able to express unselfish love, and  it doesn't matter where you are, what brings you here, there is a warm feeling which brings an innocent smile that grows from inside and spreads all over, there is nothing important in life other than this. I hate these forces which says keep going, get recognition, get money, be powerful, bring discrimination, encourage comparison, I would love them if they will say fall in love, help a stranger, welcome charity, love all , be sympathetic, be kind, be compassionate and make others feel good about themselves, about their surrounding.

This isn't stagnation this is stay, take deep breath and rest, you can always choose to be in rush, you can always choose not to do what you like, you can always say yourself its not the right time, you can always keep yourself running, waiting, earning, debating, manipulating, justifying, but its not what you are meant to be, say stop! let go, just let go of the burden, you are not here to carry, you are here to enjoy, so just let go, put your brain aside.Its better to be nonsense, stupid, and sometimes late than running, chasing....anything is better than choosing to be restless.

Rescue me 'Innocence'

She told me that I have been disobeying her, who is she ?  she is my Innocence, I told her if you are so much worried about my disobedience why don't you create a system to stop your enemy and stop my disobedience,
She screamed on me : Hey who is my Enemy, and how can I stop him ?
Oh ! as if you don't know, how can God doesn't know Devil, you both are two sides of same coin,
However I have always enjoyed with you ever since I recall, but your Enemy "Artificiality" is so much influential that wherever I go, I found myself trapped, he smells from surrounding, he is ruling, hovering around everywhere, I don't know how to get off of him,  I even doubt that whether he is your enemy or your another face may be its just you, in your incapability you appear as innocence in reality and the capable you in your dreams being  powerful appear as Artificiality.But how you manage to put everyone else being effected by someone who is origin of your dream, Are we all dreaming ? if not dreaming with you. Have you put seed of artificiality when we all were dreaming with you ? I know you are Good so certainly the Bad one must be your byproduct.
She remain quiet may be she is hurt, what can I do, I am pissed, where to go, whom to blame ?
You know one day He came to me with all his fake glory and said, you think you can stop yourself from following me,you think you are away from me, you don't have to stop yourself from following me because you are already following, I am essential for you to reach top, for you to sustain long, for you to survive, and innocence won't reply because she has died, she has never been, its me who has created her, there is no innocence, being innocence itself means being artificial, its so stupid to be innocent, only a stupid can do that, put some brain dear, come along with me and you shall achieve.
I grinned with anger Hey ! you fake, God of non- essential, you can't create doubt on me, you are wasting your time here, go and try it somewhere else, somewhere you are adored, somewhere where your useless suggestions will get remarks. And what you  see as top, what you say essential to survive, sustain is your limitation, you can;t help it, what I see is beyond limitation, what I see starts from where your limitation ends, and don't ever forget Innocence has created you with innocence, you are creation who can be put to end, its you who has to think of your survival.
He left by threat that see the truth otherwise you would see your doom.
Dear innocence,I am not afraid but I want you to show up,I adore you, please come for my rescue without you the essence of the universe cannot be preserved, don't be angry with me, I blame you because I have no option but you know I love you, I respect you, and I hope one day mankind will realize your worth more than Intelligence, money, and power.
I shall wait for you to rescue me, because this time I am really afraid  that I shall win, and I really don't want to disobey.