Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Conversation With My Soul


Sometimes all you need is Solitude, a dairy, a pen, Sound of Rain and the Fresh air coming through the window.
What completes you is your own Company, because you never get to know that you are your best company, you love yourself the most, and you have been always seeking it outside.

Very clearly, I can hear the voice of my soul and he told me that it's not me who is writing, I am just a medium, the one who is writing through you is an age old creature, like an old rusting house in the middle of nowhere but a wise one, the one who has seen many things, Life, Death, Sorrow, Pleasure, Lust and Grief.
And he knows how to be happy among all, so let it guide you;let it write through you, you can later get enriched by what it has to told you. There are many kinds of voices and among them; this one is the purest and most trustworthy,
And it says, don't hear people, the Human's, they are weird, they know nothing and pretend a lot, they are filled with useless knowledge, their talk's are boring, repetitive, idealizing everything and they are all full of stupid suggestions-nothing of which has ever helped them.

They need to evolve, they need to return to the basic's, to their soul's.

Oh! my dear Soul, don't ever stop talking to me, don't leave me alone among human's, they are not trustworthy, they say something and mean something else, they are complicated and institutionalized, they never speak from heart, for them, it's all a mind game, they never drop their mind, they never want to know that they don't know, they are fake, you are Original and my Best Friend.

Please, don't abandon me, I love you so much, I have been always seeking you,
Please, Stay with me.

(From the pages of my dairy, written on 1st September 2017, 11:00 Am)

Monday, October 2, 2017

My Blog My Identity



Hi friends I am Nominated for Blogrock 2017, my blog my identity competitions, wish me Good Luck.


Tuesday, September 5, 2017

If Ever I will be Lost



If Ever I will be lost,
Don’t come to find me,
Because I would have done it knowingly,
Don’t worry, believe me, I must be enjoying it,
I must be happy.

Because what I always know is that the only thing makes me happy is travel,
Everyday a different one, every morning a new beginning, surprising and away from the known world,
So far what I always did was following the expected routes, choosing the always traveled roads, safety,
And look ! what I became, sad, lost my smiles,

Now for a while I want to live,
Even for a day,
Even like beggars with less of things but more of smiles,

Smile that will be coming from inside my centre,
And my soul will be dancing & singing in rhythm with the ever present music of the universe,
Have you ever stopped for a while to hear it?

If Never I guess!

Then stop! Listen! Feel! Breathe! Enjoy and be Free.

With Best Wishes
Yours

 ( From the pages of my dairy, written on 31st August 2017, 6.30pm)

Thursday, August 17, 2017

The Mist (An answer to myself)



This mist of unclear confusing thoughts and ideas are not letting me see, I feel jammed. I know I need to see beyond this mist, I know my destiny awaits me and beyond this mist is my life – ready to run, and if not run at least a continuous walk.

But this mist is not leaving me as if now became a part of my existence, omnipresent. It may have a purpose-a positive one. Perhaps I must wait. I must keep patience.

For every journey even if a very ordinary one, should have few halts, however unplanned. Perhaps this part of my life is a halt, what I may not be able to see is that my halt is preparing me for the future battles that I am going to fight with myself and with the world- long ending battles that would require persistence and bravery. This halt was essential.

This mist seems to silently burn my patience thereby igniting my passion for a better world that I am going to see.


(From the pages of my dairy written on 30th July 2017)

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Love That Consumes


If only, you had chosen to be more real and less fake, I would have chosen to be with you,
If only, you had chosen not to confirm social expectation and listened to your heart, you would have loved me more,
But unfortunately you had chosen to humiliate me and I felt your hatred for me,
For a while, I could have clearly seen your hatred for me in your eyes, in your body language, even in your laugh and still trying to fulfill the responsibility of loving,

Oh! No! Please don’t do that,
You loved the world and everything in it and forsaken me, how unfair you are to me?
How life could expect me to understand this?
And how to stop this hatred coming to me, because this knowing that you are hated by the one you loved the most, is making me less and less,
How not to self-hate?
How to accept theories, all theory, logic, rationality, seems meaningless,

It is kind of love that consumes, I know I should be out of it, for me to flourish, but I just can’t,
It’s so hard because when it’s not loud, I found it’s only you that occupies my inner space,
When it’s not noise, I could hear you speak to me,
When it’s not light, I could feel you staring me,

Is liberation from this possible?
Or
I am going to die with it,

And I wish, if only, you wouldn’t have hated me, I would have continued to be happy forever,
Self love, self care, they say it helps, do they?
I don’t think so,
Because deep inside, I am still waiting for you,
And my waiting has no time limit,

Because my heart resist’s,
It has learned to love that’s rare in a lifetime and now it refuses to unlearn,

I am trapped,
Now I will either live with this constant pain or die,

But I wish, one day…
May be Miracle………

(From the pages of my dairy, written on 3rd July 2017, 10.30pm)




Tuesday, July 18, 2017

My Blank Spaces (an honest inquiry into my soul)



But then there are these impressions that never leaves me and I am left with Emptiness, the blankness, I expected these impressions of unknown origin to fill the gap -the blank spaces, but they failed, how could they, those impressions are of past, their life is over, they have done with their role, now they have no soul, I need something of present with magical soul & energy of its own to fill this Gap.

This emptiness is so profound, it drives me to find it out and I look around, I concentrate on noises in my surrounding, I look inside, I try to remember, I think & think & think and no solution's are found, then I engage myself in activities of various kinds, or put myself moving -walking on busy streets, yet nothing seems to fill the blank spaces, they remain as it is, and I stop when I get tired of finding something to fill it.

But it wasn't as it is, once I had been in a company that came very close to filling these blank spaces, and just when it started getting filled-I started feeling wonderful, ecstatic and something incomprehensible happened, destiny changed its direction, and I was left with emptiness, the work remain incomplete, and now it hurt's more, it's painful, because I am in middle of nowhere, it seems now I can't fill this gap by my own, I need a company-rather magical company to get it filled, and I crave for that, a magical person and together we shall create magical moments then only this gap will start getting filled, I once had it and it was taken away, now everything is ordinary.

I am unable to create that magic by myself; I wish I could have, could I?

Is it possible?

I am not that kind of person who can create magic by himself, but I could be, however it would require transformation from inside to outside, that also don't seem to promise it, otherwise there wouldn't be concept of soul mates.

I am incomplete without my soul mate, whether or not I am noticing; my soul is always in search of the one.

Have you ever felt like it?
Or
I am the only one; no I can't be lonely on this journey.

People who made honest inquiry into their soul do feel the need.

Best of luck to myself!

(From the pages of my dairy, written on 17th July 2017, 7.45 pm)


Saturday, June 24, 2017

Broken


         (Written for someone very special on the day I was leaving dhanbad after 4 years of stay)

So many feelings are passing my mental screen and the strongest are those spent with you. My heart is heavy because I am carrying pain and grief with it.

Because You broke me apart,
You broke me into pieces,
and left me as it is,
I am trying to collect them.
I can't even blame you,
because I love you so much,
And I will always love you the same,
Because you were not a passing phenomena,
You are part of my being.
I will be back,
I will wait for you,
and even though my heart is weeping now, I know one day It shall laugh with you.

I will miss you dear,
and I will miss everything of yours,
Because these are not feelings,
they are now part of my existence.

My heart is crying,
But I know it will recover,
It shall learn not to cry because there is hope.

O lord! Please take me somewhere I don't feel so miserable, so malnourished.

Feel like crying but tears are not coming out,
because they know they will get wasted,
Love is and love will come back,
So don't get wasted.

Keep patience! Oh, my innocent silent heart, keep patience, keep waiting.

God can't be so cruel to you.

(From the pages of my dairy, written on 6th May 2017, morning 5 Am)

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Oh! My God, That's Love.


There are melancholy, there are blank spaces that I never understood, there are restlessness, breathlessness but among all these, there are hope, that hope is a 'Smile' - a smile that eagerly and passionately demands to connect with your soul, a smile in which your heart wants to get lost and you are waiting for it and you know that it will take away all negative that ever previously existed.




There are gesture's that make you know that you will be always loved.


And then there are questions that are disturbing yet delighting, kind of stirring you from inside, questions- that were never asked, demanding you to drop all defense, and then slowly things settle down, and you found peace through them,


There are Uneasiness - when those eyes goes inside finding meaning beyond visibility and then suddenly you are scared, and you feel like crying, because they have unlocked you, they can see the real you, the naked you, with all your insecurities & weaknesses & lies & guilts and yet they hug you,


You have been challenged to step out of your comfort zone and you resist because you found it stupid and then next moment you laugh like you never did before because now you enjoy stupidity, you came out afresh, the old is gone, you are out of your shell, and you sing and your heart dance and you both enjoy this new version.


You know they are the best moments of your LIFE, you are totally in tune with Life and you don't want to let go of  Present, you don't want it to stop, you don't wish tomorrow, yet you watch it slowly pass and you can't do anything about it, and you crave for more because you know next day will be different, you know things changes with time, you feel insecure, you feel emotional, you don't want that night to ever pass, you don't want to be left alone, you don't want to say Goodnight, but there is hope, hope says smile will come back, for now go to sleep in celebration of love, you are lucky to have those moments.


Those moments are Life, so be happy & satisfied.

You have lived, many die without living.

Oh! My God, that's Love.


And I miss it so much.


(From the pages of my dairy written on 16th may 2017 9pm)

Don,t

Saturday, April 8, 2017

The Magical Tree and the Thief (A short Story)


The Magical Tree and the Thief
A criticism on development measures

The most important thing to live is breath, the breath requires pure oxygen, and pure oxygen comes from tree.

The magical tree has fallen from the lot that’s being carried by the bullock-cart to somewhere, he fallen on the mid of a busy main road, from where every 5 minutes( approximately) a carriage would pass, unknowingly he was made to wait for his possible death until a poor kid from the nearby hut found it and playfully planted it on the
 road-side, the kid's heart was innocent and selfless and when his pure & unselfish hand poured water and soil on the plant - nature made the tree "magical".


For some time when the plant was very fragile and delicate it was very well taken care by the kid like his younger brother, the kid’s eyes were filled with love and despair for the young plant when they were replaced in the name of development and made to leave the town, however the plant was not so strong and needed care, he survived, nature protected it, he grew bigger and stronger, his branch’s spread as if wanted to touch sky.

Time changed and in the name of development four-lane roads were made in front of it and shopping malls in the plot from where the kid’s family was replaced, however the importance of tree being there only grew, the fully AC shopping mall has never being able to cool them enough, people only found calm and solace under the tree’s shades, the tree make them take a nap while waiting for bus/taxi /auto and then when the time came, he gently wake them up with a splash of wind.


On the day the magical tree completed 20 years of his life, on a dry summer day when the sun was high enough to burn skin, a thief while passing from there choose to stop being attracted by the cool surrounding around tree. In his mind he was planning to break someone’s house in the night, someone known to him, someone who went far for few days, then with the money he wished to buy an attractive Smartphone, the tree got to know his intention and he prepared very cool breeze to blow through him, plan worked and he slept, he went to deep sleep, while he was sleeping, all his bad intentions, negativity, failure, frustration and depression which made him thief started coming out as CO2 through his nostrils, the tree soaked them all through its branch’s, he then asked his leaves to supply him pure oxygen and mix it with honesty, hope for a new life, enthusiasm and pride, they did the same, the man slept for 12hours and the process continued.

When he open his eyes, it was morning and he saw the sun smiling through the green leaves of the tree, for him it was a new sun, as if he is watching it for the first time, he smiled back, he was a changed man, he looked around and got an idea of restarting his life afresh, being self-employed with the money he saved, he started selling lemonade under the shades of the tree, the man realized that the tree is indeed magical, he never left the place for coming few years, he started earning a lot, he got famous for his tasty lemonade, those who have it once will definitely have it twice and then every time they would pass, all bus’s , cars, auto filled with passenger’s, shared taxi would stop by it, they found the site very fascinating and they all loved lemonade.

The place and lemonade was liked by people of all class, the man very humbly take appreciation from all of them and he start’s believing more and more on the magical tree,  the students would say it’s delicious, the old retired govt. employee would say coming here is most peaceful experience, he sit there for hours as if allowing the tree to convert his years of accumulated frustration into peace of heart, the intelligent one’s  while manifesting the ambience say, it’s magical, the spiritual one sit for hours in meditation under the tree says it’s close to ecstasy, the housewife  says it’s the best lemonade I ever tasted, the working one’s say coming here is like rejuvenation, the labor class who walks on foot to reach there say it evaporate all our tiredness and weariness to somewhere as if they never existed and they choose to take a jolly nap, the tree will just smile on it and feel proud of its existence.


Everything was fine until that one gloomy day when there were dark clouds in the sky and darkness hid the sun when in the name of development they ordered to cut the tree, and nobody came to save it, except the man who himself was weak, powerless and helpless, they all came out of house on road to watch the fall of a giant and splendid existence and they say nothing, the unselfish deity who gave so much to the world at least deserved a natural death but he was killed in public like a criminal given for mass-slaughter, after uprooting he was left there for days and he slowly saw his death coming, his leaves started drying they were all weeping but he could have done nothing to help them, he has only taught them to convert negative into positive, bad into good, CO2 into oxygen, they were fighter’s of different kind.

An author from the nearby apartment who derive inspiration by watching the tree from his window felt deeply hurt and depressed with this incident and informed journalist’s and media, the media came and they had to be convinced on making an emotional video on the death of tree, those who once enjoyed the shades of tree now joyfully climb on his dead body as if they got victory on nature, a group of people found enthusiastically cutting it’s branch’s with kulhari , women’s as if came to attend a fair, happily collecting leaves and  woods , few modern one’s found capturing pictures, it all resembled a group of wolf’s surrounding the dying animal, keep biting and eating it while it’s still struggling for life and alive.

The magical tree had a very painful death, painful because it received just opposite to what it has given, however it never learned to expect from others, it at least wished for a natural death, he was indeed magical but he never learned to harm, he slowly embraced the death with the blessings for the mankind to whom it unconditionally, unselfishly and kindly served.

But nature watch it all, and it got angry with the unnatural killing of its dearest magical tree, a noble soul  with so much of love yet to be given and it cursed the town, the dark clouds started getting darker, the speed of wind started raising soil’s into sky and took form of a deadly storm, and it hit those standing on the chest of magical tree with kulhari, clouds started thundering with anger and bolt’s of lightning fallen on few on them, then only they all left it and get inside home for saving their life, and it started raining heavily, it didn’t stop for next 12 hours, it make the river’s flow on four lane roads, and drowning those who placed order to cut it and those enjoying his death, there dead bodies were made to float on dirty drains and they were never found by their family, somewhere in the dark tunnel they keep rotting were rats eat them, and snakes crawl on them, and the entire town was made to suffer, and they start weeping and sobbing and lamenting - how can God be so cruel?

 (Note: Think about it, written with good intentions)