My Soul Has Left My Body

My Soul Has Left My Body,

And He Wants Me to Follow Him,

He Promises a Better World,

He Assures that Far Above there is a World where I would be Happy.

Where Nobody would be Blaming me,

Where Nobody's Approval will be Required,

Where Nothing will Replace My Smile,

Where My History will be Justified,

Where My Existence will be Complete,

I Have Got to Leave,

I Must Follow him,

For He is the Only One Trustworthy,

For He is the Only One who is Truly My Own,

For He Knows All of Me,

Beside Him I don't have to Pretend,

He Says My Worries are Temporary,

He Says Your Aspirations are Delusions, You Don't Need them to be Happy,

He Knows My Darkest Secret And He is Comfortable with it,

He Watch's My Dream's For Entertainment,

He Promises to Fulfill All My Wishes,

But He Says You Have to be Free From Your Desire's,

At the Time of My Loneliness He whisper's In My Ear,

    " Dear You Are Not Alone, I Shall be always with You, And I Shall always Love You Unconditionally, But This is not the World Where we Belong to, Here People are Judgmental, Preconceived, Biased, And Selfish, They Find it Easy to Hate and Hard to Love, They Don't Accept, They Don't Let You Live, They Try to Control, They Try to Change You And I Don't Like it, Let's Go, Come With Me, It has to be Over, It's Enough Now"

That's Why He Left, Now I Have to Go With Him, For He is the Only One.

(From The Pages Of My Dairy, Written on 30th September 2015, 8.00 Am)

  

Knowing Total Freedom.

They say you have to continue doing this because it's important, it's essential,
I said : But It doesn't make me happy,
They: Where does it comes from,It doesn't matter if you are earning good you should be happy,
And I said: It sounds as if being happy is compulsion, and I have no right of choosing against it,
They : As long as society Respect's your status you mustn't worry about happiness,
I : Then certainly society has been misguided, It needs reincarnation, and why are you so proud of your society, what I see is people celebrating harassing others, getting enjoyment in others humiliation, gossip is to find faults, criticizing creating jobs, they think its their right to encroach, interfere and comment, they take no second thought on threatening others, they themselves stratify then strive to get into power, those in power get right to dominate,
They don't care if others are frustrated, depressed, bored, lonely or not happy, they emphasize on following routine, being serious, appearing mature, being mature means talking seriously about serious things however stupid and unimportant they may be , happiness is considered to be directly proportional to earning money, they  are either talking about money, thinking about money, or about how to make more of it, building houses, expanding property, marriage is must with or without love, producing kids, increasing population even if knowing its already too much for soil to feed,  complaining everyday about crowd, queues, waiting list's yet encouraging others to produce their own because that's considered best way to leave a mark on mother-earth, knowingly spreading pollution then buying machine for not getting affected by it, cutting trees the most unselfish deities for selfish means and forgotten values of freedom, free-will, true love, sympathy, I hate this society,I hate being part of it, so I definitely don't care what it has to say about.
They: Its part of life, that's reality, we all have to go though it, we all have to be part of it.
I : I was knowing you won't understand, because you have been so much tamed that you can't even imagine what I would like you to see and feel.
They : What you want me to know about?
I : Happiness.
They : Ha! ha! ha!, Oh! shit, not again, so tell me what's happiness for you.
Happiness for me is "Total Freedom".
Freedom from what? Aren't you free?
That's why I said you have so much forgotten the taste of freedom that you have stopped knowing it.
Then tell me what's freedom for you.
Freedom for me is getting up everyday knowing that I am the owner of this day and I will do whatever I would like to do with it.
Freedom for me is having time for living each passing moment, noticing each passing detail, tasting all flavors of surrounding , listening sound of the wind and making it compose music with the lyrics written by my heart and always knowing what it has to say.
Freedom for me is living my dreams in reality and making it look even better than what it appears in dreams.
Freedom for me is doing everything possible with my body and surrounding and always been able to raise middle finger to those who even thought of wishing me do anything other than my will.
They : You have gonna mad, wandering in your own dreamworld, only because you hold a position in society, you earn good, you are settled, ask those who aren't.
I : Why the hell you want everyone to settle, I don't wanna settle,to settle is to stop, taking no more risk, no more adventure, taking nap in your comfort zone, how boring, keep your settlement with yourself, I don't need.
Everyone is dying to get settle how it could be boring.
It's because they lost all enthusiasm for rebelling and even those who wants to rebel let go of it because they know exceptions are not accepted.
You mean we aren't doing anything exceptional or unique, then how the world is progressing.
Yes you all are in dilemma that you are progressing because within the boundary there is a world of yours with finite knowledge and limited understanding, I can't help you unless you set yourself free and then you shall know the truth, know the infinite, total freedom the happiness.
You are saying as if you know it, how could you, you have never been free, and I think you are just dreaming of it, the happiness, actually it doesn't exist.
I am not dreaming, I am watching it now as if  happening right here, I wish we could have seen it together and you would have known what I am talking about.
You are a dreamer come to reality.
My dear, its you, who is so much engrossed in the dream of a world where everyone is slave of someone and the only thing they are doing is slavery however they name it differently, that you are not making any attempt to see reality.
If I am dreaming why everyone has to be part of it.
If everyone is falling how they would know they are falling, you are all hypnotized to assume that you are born slave and not the one who made it all, can destroy it and can make it again and again.
If Everyone is hypnotized then how could you see it.
Its not only me, everyone could see it and you too do see it, but you have stopped believing your own witness.
Tell me how to do it.
You just have to know that you are not free and you have to fight for your freedom , you have to learn that this is not reality, you need to get out of it, scream for what you have been debarred of, what was always yours, listen to your heart and stop your mind if it interrupts.stop knowing, start feeling, and you shall know it.
I am trying...total freedom..happiness ....it looks beautiful....I am Happy.

( From the pages of my Dairy, written on 4th June 2015)




  

LONELINESS

And was Feeling alone, even in the crowd was expecting nobody to see my tears and have pity on me,

Was Pleading my Tears, not to come out...not so early...not so early,

Because the world out there has a lot to say but nothing that could soothe Ear,

Was Expecting from Rain to wash away my Tears,

Was Expecting from Moon to understand me,

Was Expecting from Wind to accompany me,

Was Pleading from Night not to pass so fast because in light everyone would see me crying,

Was feeling Low, losing confidence with each passing second,

Even though, knowing that somewhere there are you who would understand everything happening with me and you won't demand explanation,

And you shall wipe my tears with your hands, and you won't doubt me, and you shall be the only one who knows that I am innocent, that I am pure,  others please don't come to me because you won't understand what you will try to do will be artificial and

You will only pretend to...and behind me you shall laugh at me,

Only you know, only you understand, and I believe that one day you will also Love me the way I love you,

And one day you shall reveal your Love for me, and I wish you shall have your own unique ways of doing that.

My School Bag

When I was a Kid my Father Leave me School on his Bicycle with one hand carrying my School- Bag and I sat on Front seat all carelessly enjoying the Ride and Everyday after School I Found him waiting outside and he waits even if I got bit Late and now I go with my Office-Bag all by Myself Sometimes I Feel, I am not Even Driving, my Bike knows the Route and he took me there. Now nobody Cares whether I Came Back or not because Everyone has Assumed that I won't Dare getting Lost.

When I was in School, I had many Dreams and one among them was to Keep Travelling the World with all my Dear ones in one Big Van and Living in one Big Farm House all Together. Now I am Sad because I can almost See the Impossibility.

My School-Bag contains Everything Required for me, It had Half-Dozens of Text Books & Copies, a Water Bottle, a Tiff-in Box, and most Important the Pencil box with 3-4 varieties of Pencil (Small, Dark, and  Light ones) 2-3 Eraser (White Natraj still Inside Plastic cover, Green and an Old dark colored rough one) & Sharpener,Geometry tools,and 4-5 colors of Pen (Red, Blue, Green and Pink), a Blade (Multipurpose), Unused Papers, Dry Leaves, and so many etc etc things, however It was always overloaded and by mistake If It falls, It took 5 minutes for Rearranging all in their Respective Designated Places. 
But It's best use was when I purposefully keep it on Desk and lost in Daydreaming watching outside Door or Window ( obviously only when there are no teachers in the class), I wonder what I must be Daydreaming.
And the Best Time was when a Teacher comes and says Today no-teaching, I am going to tell you all a Story, I Guess that used to be our Daydreaming , and suddenly Everyone Took a Rebirth, and First thing we do is very hurriedly putting our Bag on Desk, keeping both Hands on Cheeks and looking towards Teacher with Great Curiosity and Twinkling Eyes, by being impressed by our welcoming Response the Teacher even felt better and Transform himself/herself in Best Story-teller Ever Born that moment we Forgot that our School-Bag Do Contains anything Important, It was very roughly used like a Pillow.

Now My Office-Bag is (5-10) Times costlier than My School-Bag but I have no Attachment with the Items Inside and I don't Feel Excited in Bringing Inside Things out, and I Never get chance to use it as Pillow.

And sometimes, I Wonder If I was Happy with my School-Bag, Why I need to Earn this Office-Bag.

(From the Pages of My Dairy Written on  20th March, 10.45 Pm )

Tum Aao

Tum Aao to Raat me Masumiyat se Khidki se Dhere-2 Ane wali Thandi Hawa ki Tarah,

Garmi ki Dopahar Mitti ke Surahi se Rishte Pani ke Thandi-2 Boondo ke Pyase Ottho pe Pahle Sparsh ki Tarah,

Garmi ki Raat Chat pe lete Asman me bhare Lakho Karodo Sitaro ke Raunak ki Tarah,

Tum Aao to Pathjhar ke Josh se Fufkarti Lalkarti Sansanati Hawa ke us Jhoke ki Tarah Jo Ek-2 Patte ko Apne sang Udne pe Majboor Kar De,

Tum Aao to Thake hue Talwe KO Raat mein Samudra kinare Ret se Milne wali Tandhak ki Tarah,

Tum Aao to Barsat ki Raat Jhinguron ke Shor se Ane Wali Sukoon Ki Tarah,

Tum Aao to Bhaari Barish ke bad Patto Se Girte Pani ke Boondo ki Tazgi Ki Tarah,

Tum Aao to Jade ki Subah Dhund ke beech Mitti ke Kulhad Par Chai Ki Saundhi-2 Khusboo Ki Tarah,

Tum Aao …….

(From the Pages of My Dairy)