Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Risen and not Fallen in Love



There was something magical about the frequency of your voice it tunes me into my lost treasure.

This time I have ‘RISEN’ in love with your first innocent word on my ears and didn’t ‘Fall.’ I am done by falling in love; I have fallen earlier and now I don’t want any more of it. Whereas I always felt this notion of falling in love is a negative term; like it’s taking me to the depth of a dark world where I don’t want to belong to, and I am going unwillingly because I didn’t know any way other than not falling. But this time with the sound of your first word I get to know I haven’t fallen but risen. And my heart told me that it was you I have been waiting for so long, you who can quench my curiosity for love, and it happens when I was sure that I can’t love anyone anymore that I am done with this romantic love that it isn’t for me.


Now I am trapped in that unfinished moment with you. Life is really unpredictable when I was so sure that I no more need someone to complete me, that there is no one made for me, that life is good as it is, you just walked to me and more than words your eyes, your aura penetrated my aura and awaken my soul.

Now I am engulfed with desire, desire to know every tiny detail about you. Now suddenly, I feel incomplete, I feel something is missing in my life. Earlier I was unsure of that something, but now I know it’s you, Your Company, your words, your aura, and your presence.

It’s not you were a stranger to me; I have been using the law of attraction to attract you since the past few months. I have always observed you silently you are just like me, modern appearance, but primitive soul, nervous and confused like just landed from another planet trying to decipher the meaning of everything around.

Shy struggling to formulate words, wandering alone but not lonely, occupied in a self-created world of own, insulated even among people, you are a royal piece in a rough world just like me.

Delicate fragile, vulnerable, and not even trying to shed your weakness from the world as if not aware of it, living in complete harmony with it. Possessing a grim look, but content from inside like a sage, since I found you I found a purpose. You are me in different attire.


I have a strong feeling that I always lose you; you might be my twin soul. We get separated, but we remain attached with an invisible cord, we shall reunite and together we shall find and give meaning to the world around us.

Because before you came into my life, I reached a stage where I was convinced that now I can’t fall in love that I am an island on whom no traveler will come. And one fine day when it was raining, I was waiting for meeting someone else though aware of your presence around me, and you came to ask for the empty chair by my side and your first words changed everything. I evolved as a new person; something magical happened as if I got awaken from the death of a kind, a kind of loveless life, and your presence was so much full of love that it aroused all dead feelings of love in me. And my heart told me that get up, O Dry River it’s raining on you after years, get up it’s time to start your journey the ocean is waiting for you.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

The secret of my truth



You were closer to me, but not close because you never looked closely.
You were always with me yet never getting to know me because you choose to assume than truly listening.
And you never learned to interpret my silence.
You caused me to state words that you desired to hear, and you never reached close to my truth.
I offered words that you preferred to hear because I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable with my truth.
You were satisfied wandering with me in the circle and never bothered about the center.
You were intrigued by me, but you never dared to ask the right question because you were never equipped for the truth.
While I am deep like the ocean, you looked happy playing with the waves on the beach.
You minimized my existence to the shore because you were frightened of the depth.
And I kept you busy in your invented world of borrowed assumptions because I never wanted you to discover my truth.
You imagined I fit in your superficial world of perfection, approval, acceptance and false projections, but I knew I never belong here.
You talk about worldly affairs, adjustments for better survival, money, your fascination with power, the importance of maintaining status even if hollow from inside and filled with engulfing moments of loneliness, popular people and their lives for popularity, recent trends, newly updated gadgets making life easier and mind more complicated, new arrivals at shops, your recent marketing of materials you required, things, food, problems of the world, politics, war, current news, all the subjects of the world, but never about me.
And then you accuse me that I keep secret that I hide that I keep a private life.
Do you think you are worthy enough of knowing me?
Knowing a person is a sacred path, requiring patience, non-indulgence on your self-created scripts for others; it would require you to drop your ego of knowing without being told and biases.
Do you think you have ever been totally present in the present for listening?
I am not the kind of person forcing my words on you, like those screaming in news channel debates for attention.
Because I am not looking for approval or acceptance from others, what I might tell you will be sharing without any expectations.
But now I don’t feel the need to say anymore.

(From the pages of my diary, written on 19/03/2019, 11.00 a.m.)